Positive Parenting is a buzzword that’s been going around for quite some time, but what does positive parenting mean? And more importantly to you – will it work in your household?
In this video, I will share with you these 12 Positive Parenting Strategies and how you can start integrating them into your home today.
- Give ______ Choices That You Are _______ With
- Establish _________ A Head Of Time
- Tell Your Child Why They ______ Do Instead of What They ______ Do
- Don’t ______Part Of The ________
- Look _____ The Behavior Instead of the _____ Itself
- Use _____ Discipline
- Be _____ And ________
- Establish _____ Around Family _______
- Connection Before _________
- Use Time ____ Rather Than Time Outs
- Be ____ But ______
- Avoid ______, _____ &__________
If you are unaware of what positive parenting is. You may think that it’s parenting with no consequences or discipline for your children’s destructive behaviors. Contrary to popular belief, though, it doesn’t necessarily imply giving them everything they want just because they’re “nice.” The first strategy to use while still maintaining love as an essential element through empathy and understanding is to…
Give Two Choices That You Are Okay With
When a child is born, parents are 100 percent in control of their child’s life, from eating, sleeping, and what to wear. As their child continues to grow, the child starts to slowly gain a sense of self, leading them to push back or fight to gain some control over their life.
Positive parenting allows parents to give their children small amounts of control, leading them to push back much less. This is done by offering your child two choices. The first choice being the one you want, and the second choice being the one you control.
This works because parents are okay with either choice their child chooses. When parents can
Establish Expectations A Head Of Time
This helps set up a kid for success because they know what is expected from them; it also helps them make sense of potential discipline if their behavior calls for it. This can benefit the child and parents alike by ensuring that everyone knows how to react when certain situations arise.
Not only will set expectations for your children have an impact on their future successes, but….
Tell Your Child What They Can Do Instead of What They Shouldn’t Do
It is a must-use positive parenting strategy. Instead of just telling your child “no” with no explanation or options for what they can do instead. Since this can lead your child confused and possibly upset at the answer given. Try telling your child what they can do instead.
Now, does this mean that the use of the word “no” is no longer used?
Of course not! Positive parents highlight their children’s options rather than just shutting them down since this creates a very different experience. The constant use of the word “no” can easily frustrate a child leading the parent and child to have tension.
However, when parents can drop the rope they
Don’t Become Part Of The Problem
When a parent gets involved in an argument or fight with their children, they become a part of the problem. This is because they have entered a control battle with their child.
Positive parents know that they give themselves and their child a chance to cool off before discussing the situation further when they drop the rope. That they won’t become part of the problem. Therefore allowing parents to
Look beneath the behavior instead of the behavior its self
Children often misbehave for reasons that do not seem rational to their parents. There are always underlying factors behind these behaviors, and it is essential to address the root causes of why a child would act this way to change their behavior.
Parents can reach out openly and drill down, not grill, their child to find the root cause by asking them questions and using active listening to the core of the problem.
Their children will feel acknowledged by those who love them most. An open dialogue between parent(s) and children should happen as soon as possible so no more time goes wasted on childish antics since drilling down helps parents know the reason behind the challenging behaviors, which can help parents avoid them in the first place.
If discipline is needed then, positive parents can work with their children to find more.
Options. Punitive punishment produces the Four Rs Resentment, Rebellion, Revenge, and Retreat, which do not help a child learn – According to Jane Nelsen in Positive Discipline: The First Three Years.
Punishing children for misbehavior causes them resentful reactions, which may cause more bad behavior down the line because it is their only means of rebellion. This can lead to revenge-seeking behaviors and a retreat into themselves where there are no consequences from the outside world.
It is much more effective to settle and highly emotional children with a positive response and helps them learn the appropriate behaviors. Time-out is widely criticized because most parents don’t know how to use it correctly – time-out isn’t meant to be a punishment; however, how many parents are using it!
With isolation and restriction of movement paired with secondary punishments like lecturing or shaming the child, time-outs end up being ineffective towards getting children calmed down enough to learn something from their mistakes. That’s why it is important for parents to
BE CLEAR AND BE CONSISTENT
Since it helps parents be clear on what consequences their children might face if they violate limits, the tone of voice parents use is important to explain these consequences. Explain consequences using a friendly and not heavy-handed tone of voice. This will make it easier for kids to understand how serious things are but still keep them in a light mood to learn from mistakes without feeling too guilty, hurt or scared because parents were mad at them all day long with no breaks. Remember: following through means, you don’t say something unless you mean it! This is true when you go to
Establish Boundaries Around Family Values
Being firm with boundaries can serve as encouragement rather than discouragement if executed correctly!
The boundaries you set for your children are essential to having a successful, positive relationship with them. When parents have and enforce the right kind of boundary, it allows us to be patient and feels respected in our relationships. This is because when things go as they should, then all parties involved remain calm and respectful towards one another’s needs being satisfied. Hence, everyone gets what they want out of those exchanges too!
When family values back boundaries, it makes it easier for both parents and child to follow. Since these types of boundaries allow flexibility instead of hard-set, comply only rules. Parents can work with their children to find ways to honor their family values still while still allowing some flexibility which helps to build
Connection Before Asking For Cooperation
Children need to feel a connection to adults so they will listen. A child feels connected with their parents, then they’re more likely to follow through on something when asked by one of those trusted connections. If your kids are going through some rough patches and have escalated behaviors, try having an extra bonding moment or two during this time instead of with punishment, which can only make things worse.
Punishment does nothing productive in children’s behavior because it just turns out to be at odds with the parent. Instead of using disciplines such as time-outs or other forms of discipline. Positive parents can
Use Time In’s Rather Than Time Outs
The goal of positive parenting is to build and maintain your relationship with your child while also raising a person who will do good in the world. Time-out sends the message that we can’t deal with our child’s behavior, that we don’t want to see the part of them that is loud and angry and messy.
It pushes you apart from one another, which makes it difficult for both parties involved. The time spent together during “time-in” or being present helps strengthen all relationships between parent/child. By recognizing they need love no matter their mood on any given day!
Time-in doesn’t mean that everyone has perfect days full of sunshine, happiness, and skipping through fields hand in hand together.
Instead, it means acknowledging one another while being there for whatever comes up during any given day. Whether we can see eye-to-eye about something or not. Time-ins work best when parents can be
Be firm but loving
So many parents who want to be positive end up being the opposite because they are passive or are inconsistent. But it doesn’t have to be that way! You can show your kids love while still expecting high standards and enforcing them consistently. However, you must first decide on what boundaries will work for you. Then communicate those with a calm tone of voice as needed when lovingly reminding your child about these important expectations. When a discipline or boundary needs to be enforced, it’s important to
Avoid Shaming, Blaming & Punishments
Phrases such as “Stop acting like a baby!”
“What is your problem.”
“Stop being such a brat.”
All have a shaming effect, making your child feel bad about themselves. Parents can’t tell their children they’re acting like a baby and expect them to behave in different ways. Not only does this harm their self-esteem, but it also reinforces the identity of someone who behaves that way.
For example, every time you call out your daughter about her behavior, she will think of herself as bad or mean because those are things people say when they see her doing something wrong. Not just for one instance! You should try giving feedback without inducing feelings of shame so that children won’t always feel ashamed of themselves. Which would then cause an increase in problematic behaviors such as aggression towards others and anger problems.
Positive parenting is not the same as permissive parenting. Positive parenting is a philosophy that prioritizes teaching children the right thing to do, not just because it’s what others want. This focus leads parents to be more intentional about how they respond when their child doesn’t follow through with something expected of them. As well as it also provides kids with an environment where certain expectations are met in order for them to grow into responsible adults who appreciate being kind even if there isn’t any other benefit from doing so.
They don’t use manipulation such as bribery to get their kids to do what they ask; instead, discipline comes from being clear on expectations and explaining why the child needs to follow that rule.
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