I once was sitting in our soon to be born daughter’s nursery room wondering if I was ready to be a mom. Was I ready to have the responsibility of raising a little human? I read all different kinds of blogs and books about being a mom for the first time. No matter how many I read I knew that those parenting books and blogs didn’t have all the answers.
Not all the sleep training tips, discipline, and parenting styles were going to be what my child needed. So there I was sitting in the dark full of excitement, fear, anxiety, and joy. Knowing that the start of the road of my motherhood journey was only a few short weeks away.
Fast forward a few years. I now have a very active and busy toddler. I thought I had all the answers! Okay, maybe not all of the answers but I felt like I had mastered some areas in parenting. I got through pregnancy, a natural birth, breastfeeding, many sleepless nights, teething, massive blowouts, crawling, walking and plenty of tantrums and meltdowns.
I thought to have a second was going to be a breeze since I have already done it once before. This time I felt prepared because I knew what to expect. The pain of recovering from childbirth, the tiredness and baby blues I can prepare for. Since they won’t take me by surprise this time around.
Even though I was not a “new mom” or a “first-time mom“. This baby was new and was 180 degrees different from his older sister.
One thing I knew for sure. Was that I was not the same mom I was the first time. Before I could multitask like a champ, I had more time to myself, I could knock out breakfast, playtime, naps, dinner, bedtime and still have time for myself.
The mom who had all of those things and more patience was no longer there. She was replaced by a completely new and even more invincible mom.
She was replaced by a mom who when she hears two kids cry at the same time, has to figure out how to meet both needs.
A mother who has to help her toddler go potty while nursing the other.
A mother who tries to remember the last time a diaper was changed, when they were fed, and who tries to get the house clean, dishes done and dinner made.
This mother is outnumbered. And knows that she can’t be the same mom she was before. She is the last to eat, the last to shower, the last to go to bed, the last to get ready for the day.
I know now more than ever. I can’t do everything by my self.
and that’s okay!
Because even though I am not new to motherhood. The constant need and attention two children require is new. This little baby is not my first baby but he is still new to me. He is a totally different baby from his sister.
I can’t soothe him the same I use to soothe his sister. I can’t be the same mom I was with our first. Because every child is different, every child changes you, challenges you and helps you grow in new and even more powerful ways.
I am okay not being the same mom to each one of my children. Simply because I can’t but what I can do is be their mom.
As a mother who is adjusting to life with 2 kids, my days and hands are more full than they have ever been. As one of my favorite sayings goes “My hands are full but so is my heart”.
My heart is full of love. Love that I didn’t know I had.
My heart is full of watching my toddler randomly kiss or hug her baby brother and put her arm around him.
I love seeing two different personalities shine through and how our children’s personalities balance each other out.
I love this new mom I am to our son. Each of my children loves me in different and unique ways. And the love and care I have for both of them are indescribable. Nothing makes me happier than being their mom.