we’ve spent 2 years just the two of us and 9 months eagerly waiting for our little angel to arrive. So why am I sitting in bed crying with you?
Shouldn’t I be happy that I am going to have our baby? Why do I all of a sudden feel guilty? As my husband tenderly holds my hand’s thoughts are racing through my mind. I hear soft cries coming from my husband as he looks at me and says, “This is the last night with just the two of us.”
My heart sank because I had been waiting my whole life to be a mother. I was unaware that our little baby was going to change our lives forever. No longer was it going to be just you and I but now we have the responsibility of another human being.
As I painfully labored for 32 hours unmedicated my husband and I grew closer. He was my support, my rock, and my foundation during the long hours before our angel arrived. Despite his constant support, I was conflicted with feelings of joy and sadness because I knew that this was a close of a chapter and the beginning of a new one.
I was unsure if I was prepared enough to be a mother and if our love would remain strong. But as soon as our baby arrived and we heard her first soft cries, all of those feelings were completely washed away. There in my arms was something we have always been waiting for. The day our baby was born was the day our love grew deeper.
Now more than ever have I truly valued alone time with my husband. Even if it’s just a small moment I will take what time we can get with just the two of us. Having our baby has increased more small moments of love between one another and we share that love with our baby. It is okay to be sad the day before your baby arrives because it is like one door closes and another amazing door opens.
Luckily we have been blessed that our baby goes to bed at 8 p.m. which allows us one-on-one time with each other. During this time we have learned to truly cherish small moments together. As a first-time mom, it is overwhelming and hard both mentally and physically adjusting to life with a newborn. Not only are you taking care of your child but now you have to learn how to balance out love, attention, and care for your husband, child and yourself.
Even though I enjoy and value our one-on-one time I have learned to appreciate the time spent together as a family. My heart warms when I see my husband and daughter laughing together.
I love the tender moments when I feel the warmth of my husband’s hand on my leg or the softness he has in his voice when he says, “I love you.”
We have religiously followed our tradition of having date nights every Friday, even if it’s a night at home watching a movie. Every night once our baby is in bed and 9 p.m. hits it’s phones down, computers off, and time to talk with each other. I have found during these times we truly get to know each other better.
Being parents doesn’t mean that love can’t exist between one another. It means that your love becomes stronger.
Yes, we’ve shut the door on it being just us but opened the door to a life full of love and adventure and I wouldn’t want it any other way.