There may come a point where you might start feeling like motherhood is a job or you may be feeling this way already. Being a mom isn’t supposed to be or feel like a job. it is such a wonderful and a hard thing to do. My husband is always telling me he doesn’t know how I do it.
With the stress and obligations, it may start to begin to take away or rob you of the joy of motherhood. Sometimes this may happen without you even knowing. A large chunk of your happiness as a parent, mother, or wife might go missing. You might feel empty inside or that you have lost yourself.
What is stealing your joy and how can you find joy in motherhood and yourself? These 15 ways to reclaim the joy of motherhood will help you become a happier parent, help you to recognize some things that are stealing your joy, and how to get it back!
If you are unhappy with yourself as a parent or individual, it doesn’t have to stay that way. Make it your journey for you to claim your happiness back as well as to reclaim the joy of motherhood. Being unhappy in motherhood can even take a toll on your relationship with your husband.
There have been times that I have been lost in the stress and obligations of being a mom and trying to accomplish and control what I could not do that I was not only causing myself stress, but my husband as well. When you are constantly going 24/7 you get spent from being tired, emotionally worn out, impatient, and irritable from trying to juggle too many things at once.
There may be days that you look back at old photos on your phone and remember the pure happiness you had of being a mother. Remember the times where you actually missed your child when you put them to bed? And when they woke in the morning you ran to their room just so they could be in your arms?
Then all of a sudden you stop feeling like that…
In the mornings you bring the covers over your head dreading to get up. Your children start being hesitant to speak with you out of fear that you might snap at them. Soon you are just a sleep deprived mom with a short fuse.
You might look into the mirror and not even recognize who is staring back. The first thing to help you find joy in motherhood is to take a good internal look at your self and think about how you lost the joy of motherhood.
This is not something that just happens overnight but over time. With every “no” you said such as…
no, I don’t feel like working out.
no, I don’t feel like going out with friends.
no, I can’t relax because there is too much to do.
no this and no that.
Feeling obligated to take care of the extra stuff isn’t as important if you’re too busy to say yes to yourself and your family. Your family is depending on you and how can you take care of them and build a healthy and happy environment if you are operating at half full.
This checklist below includes ways you can follow to reclaim the joy of motherhood. Simply pick 5 things to do every day that you can make changes in and start your journey to find the joy in motherhood!
1.Make Time For Yourself
Being a mom is very demanding but it does not mean you can not have time for yourself. You might not take time for yourself because you feel guilty if you do. That should not be the case. If you want to be the best mother, wife, and friend you can make sure to schedule time for yourself.
You don’t have to schedule a long time but, a simple bath with a nice bath bomb and candles, sitting down to read a book, and even going out with friends to grab a bite to eat is a way to jump-start your happiness once again.
When you are trying to get too many things done at the same time it becomes overwhelming and stressful. I always make sure whatever I start I finish. When you set your schedules to make sure to schedule enough time that will allow you to get each individual to-do item done before starting the next one.
3.Stop The Negative Self Talk
Negative self-talk is the killer of joy and happiness. Start becoming aware of the things you say and think. You might be surprised at how negative it is. Now, no one is perfect but put forth the effort to stop saying negative things about yourself, your kids and husband.
“SUCCESSFUL MOTHERS ARE NOT THE ONES WHO HAVE NEVER STRUGGLED. THEY ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE NEVER GIVEN UP, DESPITE THE STRUGGLES. -SHARON JAYNES”
4.Let It Go
Let go of situations or outcomes that you can’t control. My husband taught me this, I was so frustrated that our baby would not take her naps and I would be so stressed that I stressed my husband out.
He sat me down and told me that kids are adapting and changing 24/7 that I need to be 10 steps ahead and that our baby is her own individual. She is going to take a nap when she is tired, not when I decided that she is tired. That was a big lesson for me to learn.
5.Go To Bed At A Decent Time
It is hard to be happy and focused on little sleep. Going to bed too late can make the next day a hard one. Getting a good nights sleep might be hard but don’t make it harder when you crawl into bed and stay up an extra hour scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.
6.Set Your Priorities
When you are making your to-do lists, put the most important things first. Also, know what your priorities are. Such as your children, husband, cleaning the house, and yourself. That way you know where to focus your attention.
7.Ask For Help When You Feel Overwhelmed
There is help out there, you just have to ask for it. Asking for help does not mean you are weak or lazy. Give others the opportunity to serve you. Sometimes you have to let go of the expectation of someone seeing that you are in need of help and them helping you. Often others who know you need help until they are asked.
8.Stop Over Scheduling Yourself & Your Family
Stop making your and your family schedules so jam-packed that you are running around like a chicken with its head chopped off. Once again it comes down to setting family priorities. When you and your family and constantly on the go it wears everybody out and then no one has time for themselves especially you.
9.Start A Gratitude Journal
Everyone has at least one thing to be grateful for. Every morning open a note on your phone or gratitude journal and write down at least 5 things you are grateful for. This is a great way to help your mindset and attitude change to become more positive and happy.
“GRATITUDE TURNS WHAT WE HAVE INTO ENOUGH. -MELODY BEATTIE “
10.Schedule Kid-free Time
You don’t need to be with your kids all of the time. Having some scheduled no kids time is okay to have! Drop the kids off at a family members house and spend the night somewhere with your husband.
Or even have your husband watch the kids while you go run errands. There are plenty of ways to have kids free time just ask for help since having alone time is important. It gives you a break and a chance to release any stress or frustrations you may have.
11.Learn To Be Patient
Now I didn’t say be patient I said learn to be patient. In today’s society, we have everything we would ever want right at our tips and it comes typically in a 1-7 business day. But raising a healthy and happy household takes time and patience.
Be patient with yourself as you are trying to find the joy in motherhood again. You might have some days where you slip into old bad habits but don’t beat yourself up about it. Take every day as a new day to do a little better and try a little harder.
12.Get Out Of The House
Being cooped up inside all day can be really draining and may even be a little claustrophobic. Take a nice walk outside or go to the park with your kids because there is just something about breathing in fresh air that can really affect the body and mind in a positive and happy way.
13.Workout And Get Ready For The Day
Working out and getting ready for the day makes a HUGE impact on your self that you might not even notice. When you work out and get dressed you are putting forth the effort to accomplish your day. Doing this everyday changes how you see yourself and makes you feel like you are accomplishing something. Which bring joy and happiness into your life. Even as busy as you are there is always time to fit in a workout!
14. Eat Healthier Foods
Have you ever noticed how crummy you feel after eating a not-so-healthy meal? Whenever I eat something I know I should not have eaten I feel crummy and I get down on myself because I know that it is not good for my body. When eating healthy foods you feel better about yourself and your body appreciates it too.
15. Do Things You Love
Don’t forget about your talents and hobbies. If you like to do crafts once the kids are in bed, do some crafts even if there are dishes to be done. Taking some time here and there to do “you” is something that should be encouraged.
We often do what others love to do. Find a balance to do what others love to do but also what you like to do. Find common interests with your husband or kids so that you can do them together.
There is one thing I must point out. Have you noticed that all 15 ways require action? You have to put forth some effort to reclaim the joy of motherhood. It isn’t something that is just going to happen by sitting there.
You have 15 ways to reclaim the joy of motherhood. Pick even 5 of them to start out with and add to them as you find the joy and happiness in motherhood again. Remember you are not alone. Other moms have struggled with this as well. Motherhood is amazing and hard but it doesn’t mean you need to be unhappy and alone doing it.